Therapy, Gatekeepers, and Other Bullshit

I'm about to start with a new therapist again next month. Third one in three years. This new one is because of the move, I am not driving from Muskegon to Ann Arbor to see my old talky doc that is almost three hour drive. So I'm finding a new one; not because I really want one or need one, but these are the steps trans people take to get what we want later down the road.

I'm not opposed to talky docs in general, it can really help some people to work through their emotional baggage, but what do you do if you don't have anything to talk about? I know, "Alex your trans how can you not have stuff to deal with?" Well sorry to disappoint but I went through a real self introspection all by my lonesome a few years back. (when I had the drinking problem, or just after that I guess) I worked through any remaining gender issues I had, stopped drinking and using drugs as escapism, and in general got my head on straight. But somehow, NOW I need therapy and it is all the gatekeepers fault.

Gatekeepers: the well intentioned medical community that is more of a hindrance than an aid.

These are the people we turn to to help us live the lives we desire, we need, to be complete people. Unfortunately, the sad fact is that they think we are liars. Oh they smile to our faces, but a close observation leads to the conclusion that they don't believe us. Consider birth defects of the limbs and severe burn cases. A person with a malformed hand or leg is not forced to submit to years of psychotherapy before they can even get a surgical consult. If someone gets burned and no longer feels they look the way they want to look, they do not have to see multiple psychologists before they receive reconstructive plastic surgery. Yet these are the hoops that transsexuals are forced to jump through. They real question is: why the difference? They think we are full of shit.

I've experienced it a few times, the claims that others just can understand what it would be like to be transsexual. Seriously, there are like dozens of comedy movies about gender switches and the rather funny emotional distress the switch puts on people. So lets face it, people know what it would be like, and they know that it can be harmful to live that way. Why then the charade. The truth is that people don't believe the transgendered community. They either think we are confused, with some unresolved childhood trauma, gay people that can not come to terms with homosexuality, or just kinda pervy. Even those with good intentions don't take us seriously.

Because transgenderism HAS to be in our heads, they come up with a mental health diagnosis, and drop us in therapy, hoping to all hopes we might just snap out of it and decide to go with the gender that corresponds to our biological sex. I've met and talked to many a transperson, and the only ones that ever stopped did so so that she could put food on the table. I get it. Transsexuality is a hard pill to swallow when normalcy and conformity are valued so highly, but I would like to see just a little bit of academic honesty out of the medical community. Maybe its the money.

Therapy to talk about things you already know before walking in the door, costs between $200-$75 dollars each session, a few times a month for several years. $4800-$1800 bucks a year seems like a mighty good idea to extend therapy as long as possible. Hell I'm a wee bit jaded, but that a lot of money.

Look if therapy helps some people out or gives them a warm fuzzy, and someone to validate how they feel with a diagnosis, all well and good, but fuck Harry Benjamin for this one size fits all treatment designed after shoddy research. Therapy just costs me money and time and I am in limited supply of both. I recall spending 45 min talking about women in sports that cost me $125. *Sigh*

Off to do the bidding of the man
Alexandria