1 year and moving on

okay, so it has been a year since I was divorced. It has been a hard year for me, I'm back at MSU, and actually made a pretty nice group for friends and aquainences. I've started lightly dating, but most of that blows up in my face because I just can't seem to trust people like I used to, like I want to, like I need to to have a meaningful realationship. My return to MSU has reopened my eyes to optimism, and I am launching myself at life again (just watch a history on rocketry and see how many blew up) I am going to commit to adding to this blog once a week. We shall see how life goes from here.

Kira makes little girls cry

So I was visiting my friend Kira in Kansas last week and we decided to go to the amusement park Worlds of Fun while I was there with our other friend Liz. I love rollercoasters so it was a great time. The three of us walk up to the next waiting line behind two tiny girls, they looked like they were 12 but were likely a bit older. As we approached they were facing each other gibbering on as young girls do. The two gave us a cursory glance at our approach their eyes drifted over me and became like saucers; immediately they turned so their backs faced us and began whispering and giggling. To be fair I have no idea what they were talking about. Perhaps they found conservative economic policy as absurdly humorous as I do, but I suspect not. Myself, I have kinda gotten used to this type turn and snicker, my friends however have not, or at least do not have the patience or good humor that I do. Kira invaded their personal bubble standing right behind them staring, more drilling a look of contempt deep into the back of their heads. The whispers ended. She did this the entire time we were in line for the coaster. For 20 minuets Kira beamed hate at the girls and slowly the line moved. As one boards a rollorcoaster there is generally a place to set belongings they one does not wish to be lost during the ride, and it was here Kira came face to face with them. She grinned, almost a Cheshire cat grin, but not so nice. After placing backpacks in a the wooden bin, everyone boarded the coaster. The ride was a blast, I think Liz hit a new octave no human has reached before, but dogs are familiar with. We exited the ride, and Kira ran, not kidding ran to the bin to meet the girls again. With the same mocking grin fixed on them the girls retrieved their things. Kira was holding up the top of the wooden bin, and as soon as the girls had their belongings she dropped the lid slamming it shut. I haven't seen many people run that fast. We had a good laugh was we finished up our day at the park.

I can pass a couple hundred or even a thousand people in a given day, and it only takes one transphobic asshole to ruin my day. Some part of me knows that the small minded are a minority, but I will say it is awful nice when you have friends that will back you up, people to lean on when you need them. I love my friends!!!

Holy Crap I havea blog n shit

Okay quick update then. The last year has been a real bitch FML, but I think I see some light at the end. I have a new apartment I'm moving into on the 23rd and am going back to school for a second bachelors degree. Guess what it is really hard to find a job in this shitty economy with a degree in philosophy, just so you know. SO i guess it is a fresh start for me after all the shit. More rants and exposition on life to come never fear.

SINGLE

As of Monday October 26, 3:26pm I am single. Or I guess divorced, but hell I've never been big on labels. I'm glad that seeing as I had no choice in the matter that it is over now, sad that I had to loose so much that I care about and love to be the me I need to be. -sigh-

I think the amount of friends I have that are in town has reached a whopping 0, and it is kinda depressing thinking about the sheer numbers of people that have vacated my life since I came out. Mind you that no one wants to be that "You're a trans weirdo freak, and I never want to talk to you again" open kind of bigot, people just don't seem to have the time to return phone calls are hang out anymore, and then one day you realize you haven't talked to so and so for over four months, and are probably not really friends anymore. -double sigh-

Things are not all bad, I have a great group of friends online, and although it kinda does lack the human interaction that non interweb friends have, I love these girls a lot, and count them as the real deal friendships. And people said I was wasting my time playing World of Warcraft :)

Anywhoo, I will try to update this more often than every time I get divorced.... so until then take care.
Alexandria

falling apart

It has been several weeks now since my wife left me. Nothing has changed for me. It appears as though my life has been put on pause. This is the main reason for my lack of updating this blog, today could easily be early July and I could not tell the difference. I somehow need to get out of my apathy. I need to find something to care about again. Something.